Dating, Relationships, Theory of Twice Removed

The Theory of Twice Removed

I have a theory about dating. First off, I hate most aspects of it with a passion. I hate awkwardness, I hate the Q&A part of getting to know someone else, I hate the pressure associated with dating a new person. This is how my theory came into being.

There are several ways to meet someone new, but most of them suck. If you meet someone at a bar I can almost guarantee that they will not be in your life more than 3 weeks. You can try online dating, but ever since the Craigslist killer, this creeps me out. You can ask your friends to set you up, but if that goes badly then all the awkwardness increases times a thousand.

My solution: The Theory of Twice Removed. I’ll explain. The best people to date are friends of friends of friends.

– If you start dating someone you are friends with shit will likely hit the fan. It could ruin a friendship, your current friends will feel the need to take sides if it ends badly, etc., etc.

– If you start dating a friend of a friend they are still too close in proximity of your main friend group to avoid them. You probably met at a party, but they will also be at every party after this one. They are pretty well vetted by someone who’s judgement you kind of trust, but if it ends badly even more people will feel awkward. Do you really want to be asked why it didn’t work while the person is drinking a beer in the other room?

– If you start dating a friend of a friend of a friend you are in a perfect situation. Example: Your friend’s, roommate’s best friend. They are far enough removed from your circle of friends that you will probably not awkwardly run into them at a party, but close enough that if you are interested it will be simple to get them there. No one’s feelings will get hurt if it doesn’t work out, except maybe theirs.

The last 3 people I dated fit my theory. None of them worked out, sadly enough, but it doesn’t matter because I never really have to see them again. On the bright side, if they do happen to be a mutual friend’s party, we can still hook up. It’s a great position to be in.

The only issue I have encountered with my Theory, is that everyone tends to hang out with the same people. At some point, the pool of FoFoF will run out. But I think I am willing to take my chances until then.


About Shikole

I just moved to Austin, TX after living in the DC metro area for 6 years. I love wine, writing, exploring and fun. When all of those things can happen simultaneously, I'm a happy camper.


One thought on “The Theory of Twice Removed

  1. I like this theory a lot! I fit into the second category (my boyfriend was a friend of my friends), but I've seen that same situation blow up. It ends with people having to choose 'sides', which totally sucks.

    Posted by Jordan | December 18, 2011, 4:18 pm

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