Today has been one of the strangest days of my life. It started like an ordinary day, with my alarm going off, me groaning and blindly reaching in the direction of the noise, and rolling out of bed. I went to take a shower as usual and BAM.
No, literally, BAM. I stubbed my toe. I yelped from the pain and let out a few choice curse words as I half stumbled the rest of the way into the shower. Then I looked down and saw blood. My toe was bleeding. Profusely. I showered very quickly because standing on it wasn’t all that pleasant.
When I got out of the shower I examined my injury. (This gets a little graphic, don’t read if squeemish) The nail was split down the middle, part of it coming off, a large piece of flesh was dangling. Pulling the flesh hurt to the point of tears, taking it off was not an option. There was still blood everywhere. I decided to just put some band-aids on it for now and revisit the issue later.
So I get in the car to go to work. I’m running about 10 minutes late because of the toe incident. 5 minutes down the road I get stuck behind a car going 20 in a 35 and I was getting pissed. The car pulls over to let me pass and I go on my merry way. Less than a minute later I see flashing lights in my review mirror.
Unmarked police car purposefully going slow, can you say entrapment?
Anyway, the Officer comes up to my window and doesn’t even ask if I know why I’m being pulled over. I thought they had to do that. Apparently I was wrong. This man just started to list the offenses I had just committed, even though most of them were bull.
- Tailgating. (Not guilty. As previously mentioned, 20 in a 35 is entrapment)
- Rolling through a stop sign. (Ok I did that. He had me there)
- “Speeding” at 33 mph in a 25 mph zone while going down a hill. (Not guilty. Ever heard of gravity? You tend to speed up going down a hill.)
- Dice on my mirror (Not guilty. Since when is it illegal to have dice???)
- Failure to provide proof of insurance (My fault. It was renewed last week and I forgot to print the new card out.)
After lecturing me, he wrote me just one ticket, for the insurance thing. So glad he realized the rest of it wouldn’t hold up if I fought it.
After those great experiences that began my morning I finally arrived at work in one piece. I was on the phone with a client, explaining to them how to change their voicemail recording when my personal cell phone starts lighting up. The screen shows me an international number and I assume it is my hotel in Istanbul confirming for my trip.
Then the number called me 4 times in rapid succession. I did not answer because I was at work. They finally left a voicemail. In the meantime, I had googled the country code and discovered the call was coming from Iraq. I don’t know anyone in Iraq.
At this point I’m confused. So, like any person would do, I listened to the voicemail. It was an Iraqi male, who knew my name (said it in the voicemail). He claimed he found me on Facebook, saw my number listed, and wanted to be friends. There are a couple problems here. First, I don’t have my number listed on Facebook. Too many crazy Exes that I don’t want to contact me for that. Second, my Facebook profile is set to private and unless we are already friends, you can’t see it.
At this point I was no longer confused, I was freaking out. It wasn’t even noon and my day had been more eventful than the last 3 months, not in a good way. I still don’t understand this peculiar phone call, or why a police officer would list 5 offenses and give me 1 ticket, or how I could manage to make my toe bleed after being awake for only 15 minutes. I blame the SuperMoon phenomena that scientists have been talking about.