www.therealpostgrad.com

Bookmark us, follow us, tweet us- you know the drill! See you all at our new place!

Allison & Shikole

Today was just one of those days.  It was beautiful out here in Rochester, but other than the weather, things just seemed to fall flat. I am so stuck in my daily routine of work, gym, dinner, sleep that sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I just can’t wait for it all to be over. 

So today I am shaking things up. I’m taking myself out on a date to buy new boots, some groceries, and I then I am going to workout later using my trusty pilates dvd. Take that, schedule!  Sometimes you just need days like this to stay sane and regroup.

Tomorrow is Friday and this weekend looks like a promising mix of hiking and friend time. On Monday I fall into my post grad schedule once again. Such is life.

I’m drowning.  This week has been a brutal one at the office. A coworker was out sick for 2.5 days and I had to cover for him. And we were being audited today, so I had to prepare for that. And my boss’s wife is a week and a half overdue with her baby, so he has been unexpectedly at the doctor’s office. Oh, and I don’t get tomorrow off for a holiday.

While everything is going and my adrenaline is up and my focus is on, it’s great and I’m in my element. But if my focus is off, even just a little, or I stop for a second to breathe that’s it. I get so overwhelmed. My job is not in the field I studied. I’ve picked up some things but for the most part I still feel like an outsider in IT world. And the past few days when I’ve been doing so much that isn’t even in my job description I’ve felt like I was drowning.

And then I had a minor change of heart when I realized I have some new things to add to my resume. Have you ever prepared a small business for a state level payroll audit? I hadn’t either until now but you can bet it’s going to be added to my resume. All the stress will at least impress a future employer. Have you ever written an RFP? Do you even know what an RFP is? I didn’t either. I was given the assignment, figured it out, wrote it, and it was accepted with only minor additions.

While I have been feeling like my lungs are filling with water lately, the air has finally started to replace it.

I saw the movie Inception last night… yes I know, I am behind the times, but I saw it in theaters for $1.00, so I’m gonna say it was worth the wait.  The movie involved the process of having dreams within dreams within dreams, you know the feeling when you think you wake up from a dream but you’re really in another one?  I couldn’t help but  think about how much this idea parallels post grad life.

Sometimes I think about my post grad life in terms of layers.  Layer 1 is sort of the broad acceptance of the fact that I am no longer a college student/ a semi-real adult.

Layer 2 focuses on my desire to succeed in post grad life, and all that accompanies success: healthy relationships, a career, making use of my college education. I often reach layer 2 when I focus too much on layer 1.

Layer 3 is what I like to think of as my post grad inner child.  In this inner most layer, I become lost in thoughts about what life could be like if only I were a few more years younger, lived closer to home, and had time to rethink the direction of my life.

It’s so easy for me to get lost in these layers, consumed by what could be or should be… but then I get a kick. In Inception, the “kick” is that feeling of falling that wakes you up out of a dream, the jolt that brings you back to reality.

In the post grad world, my “kick” is my paycheck, my freedom, or the thrill of finding another article relating to water conservation that I can blog about for my company (don’t mock me, this is my life).  These “kicks” bring me out of my post grad layers and back into reality. But, much like dreaming, I know I’ll fall back into my layered fantasies sooner or later. Let’s just hope these kicks keep on coming!

For weeks I have been so eager for Daylight Savings time to end so that it would be light out again in the morning as I got ready for work. Fumbling around in my closet in the pitch black and leaving the house as the sun rose was not my idea of a good start to the day.

Now, it’s happened. We got that long-awaited extra hour of sleep and all is right with the world. Oh, except for the fact that in my new post grad life, I will not be enjoying weekday sunlight for quite some time, aside from the light streaming into my office.

For those post grads who have 9-5 jobs like me, it’s going to be slim pickings in the daylight department for quite some time. To deal with this, I’m going to try to take walks during my lunch break, and make sure that I head to the gym right after work to avoid my instinct to flop on my bed after a long day.

Some blog posts I’ve been reading have suggested wearing bright colors on these short days to make things more cheery. I’ll give it a shot, though I’m wearing a flowered shirt right now and feel pretty much the same.

Another thing I might try is to set a specific goal for myself to finish by the conclusion of the winter months- by March or so. I’m thinking about training for a half marathon, maybe that will be my goal? We’ll see…

What about your post grads? How do you plan on making it through the lack of natural sunlight blues?

We’ve mentioned before that post grads don’t exactly have the best pick when it comes to living situations. We’re either paying too much for comfort/location, or living in a place we can afford that might not be up to all of our standards.

In college, the neighbors we became accustomed to dealing with were mostly fellow college students. But, if you moved off campus during your time in school, you definitely understand that apartment living and school sponsored dorm living are two very different things.

I was inspired to write this post based on my current next door neighbors who just had a curse word filled screaming match in our adjoining driveway at 8 pm. It’s not the first time this has happened, and while it’s annoying, I’ve learned to cope. I hope that all of the families with young children on the street have learned to deal as well.

Here are some tips on how to deal with less than perfect neighbors:

-Don’t allow them to speak down to you. Our age can sometimes lead older unpleasant neighbors to not take us seriously. Use that college education of yours and show them that you mean business-politely, of course.

-Play by the rules. If your lease states that you get to use the driveway, don’t let your neighbors get away with parking their cars there, or worse, blocking you in. Ask them respectfully to adhere to the rules, and if it becomes a consistent problem alert your landlord, or the police. The same goes for you if the roles are reversed. Mutual respect will make your apartment living experience much more pleasurable.

-Remain approachable. Don’t start off your relationship with your neighbors in a huff. Say hi when you see them and keep relations diplomatic.

How do you deal with your neighbors- have any other post grads out there dealt with similar problems?

It was brought to my attention yesterday by a law student that salaried workers have no rights. Labor laws are only meant to protect us from unsafe work environments, but apparently being overworked is perfectly safe. Employers are not obligated to pay us for overtime. They can have us work for as many hours as they choose. And we cannot refuse to work more than 40 hours a week.

The exceptions to this is workers who are paid hourly or if by some chance there is a stipulation in your contract about hours.

This is the reason Americans hate their lives. It is amazing to me that no person, politician or human rights advocate has done anything to change this practice. Other countries work less than 40 hours a week and are much happier and more prosperous. Americans do nothing but work. Mostly because they can.

If there was a cap on number of hours a week a person can work, more jobs would have to be created if an employer wants the same amount of work to be completed. Americans would also be less stressed, which would improve health.

This may just be an overworked, over stressed post grad venting about the number of hours I’m made to work, but mark my words, if I ever run for office, this will be my platform.

October was a great month to be a post grad. I got to enjoy a bunch of outdoor activities and embrace fall, minus dealing with midterms and other college assignments. Now, October is over, and the first few days of November in Rochester have started out at around 30 degrees in the mornings. Yesterday there was even icy slush on the stairs from my apartment.

I’m looking forward to Thanksgiving, since it’ll be the longest time I’ve been home since early July. Other than that, November has got me in a slump. I need your help readers- why is November a great month for post grads?

The Rally to Restore Sanity/Fear occurred in DC this weekend. It was quite an experience to attend. I don’t think I had ever been at a rally here that had so many people in agreement on something (in this case that politics and the media that cover them are getting out of hand and needs some sanity restored to it.) Most others were political and very  partisan with many counter-activists. This one felt more like the country was unified, except for maybe the confused media.

There were a plethora of witty signs to accompany the confusion. As well as songs and chants and some tree climbing. For some reason several of the grassy areas of the National Mall were closed off by fences. No one was sure why. But someone started a chant that went “Restore common sense. Take down the fence.”

The rally also included the most inclusive groups of people I have ever seen in one place. There were small children, older citizens, people of every race and ethnicity, people of several religions and earning classes, and people from all over the country. I was absolutely amazed at how well all these people got along as well. It really was a rally where we were all just friends. Except for one woman who decided to scream in a shrill voice at people who stepped on the grass like it was her job to discipline them. That woman was not our friend. It was also very entertaining because it was Halloween weekend and several rally participants were in costume. We witnessed Quail Man (personal favorite), Cookie Monster, a Duck, a Cave Man, a Nun (yes I’, sure it was a costume, it was a dude) and many many more.

I think the rally was a step in the right direction for the country. Hopefully it will decrease the overly exaggerated, fear inspiring media stories and increase the rationality and common sense of the nation. It was comforting as a post grad to know that at least some other people are on the same page as us.

There’s no questioning that breakups are hard for everyone involved. The end of a relationship signals the end of a chapter in your life and suddenly all you can remember are the good times you spent with the person.

Eventually you do move on, and find that you are happier without the relationship. You can look back on the fun times and remember them without gut wrenching pain.

That is, until you find out that your ex has found someone new. The pangs of distress start to rush back, but you suffocate them- telling yourself that you wish only happiness on your old flame.

Then you find out that your ex is getting married.  In the post grad world, marriage all of a sudden becomes very real.

My first, long-term boyfriend and I dated for 3+ years, calling it off in college because of distance and the fact that what we wanted out of life was just so different. Imagine my surprise that less than a year after our breakup he was engaged, and 6 months later, married. In the world of Facebook and blogging, nothing is kept private. I watched it all unravel so publicly online, and was in complete shock.

I remember that the day he was married was the day I moved into my first apartment before my senior year at SUNY Geneseo. It seemed appropriate, since my focus on academics and my future, and his focus on settling down quickly was ultimately what drove us apart. That doesn’t mean I didn’t shed a few tears.

As much as I hate to admit it, you will likely find yourselves in a similar predicament at one point in the coming years post grads. Maybe not in the next year or so, but mid to late 20′s are prime marriage years. Here’s a few tips on how to deal:

- Don’t go to the wedding! If you and your ex are civil, you might find a wedding invitation turn up in your mailbox. Think about how your stomach feels as you open. If you are calm and purely happy for the couple, then attend. If your stomach does somersaults and you immediately toss the invitation across the room- think twice ( a nice congratulations card will do).

-Stay out of it. What hurt the most to me was that my ex’s wedding was plastered across social media websites. Even if I wasn’t looking for it, it somehow sprang across my computer screen. However, this does not give you the right to ask your mutual Facebook friends about wedding details, or comment on anything about the wedding. Take the high road, post grads!

-Allow them to do the contacting. Do not send them emails after the wedding “catching up”, when really you are “checking up” on their new lives. Even if you casually email prior to the wedding, allow them to make the first move in contacting you after things are official.

-Stay positive. Whether you are with someone great and the whole wedding business has just got you nostalgic, or you are alone and bitter that your ex is not, don’t worry, your time will come. Just think you’ve got all sorts of fun weddings to look forward to! Family members, friends, and someday, if you so desire, your own.